Quick COmcast update, since there are yet more exciting developments.

I begin with excerpts from an email conversation between mechamom and Mister Comcast Frank, which she forwarded to me and mecha:

Frank sez: (May 21)
I wanted to provide a quick update regarding this. At this time we have credited back the $86.03 that was listed on the Bloomington account, so at this point that will be at a 0 balance. We also credited back $30 to the other account, which leaves a balance of $121.94. We would like to look into this further, but we would need to discuss it with before we can enter further credits. Thank you!


..."other" account?

Mechamom's response to Mr. Comcast Frank (on May 21) touches on this question, of course; everyone on this side of the dispute is woefully confused as to what "other" account this could be. Mecha and I have had exactly two accounts with Comcast ever: the one when we were living in Indianapolis in 2005, and the one we have now, which started its life as an Insight account. The first account was closed, and then, when we wouldn't pay for the cable box that we had already given back to them, sent to collections. We then paid the collections agency. Granted, I'm not the sharpest crayon in the socket, but as far as I know, if Company A turns an account over to Company B, and then Defrauded Customer C pays the bill, then I'm pretty sure the account should be closed.

If I am wrong, I invite correction.

Frank sez: (May 21)
One of the accounts currently has a balance of $121.94 which is the Indianapolis account. The other account has been brought to 0 today.


WHAT.

The Indianapolis account. The one we CLOSED? And then you sold it to a COLLECTIONS AGENCY? Which we PAID?

That account?

That's the one you figure we still owe you money on?

Gotcha.

Mechamom sez: (May 21)
It is inconceivable to me that there is still an account out there with a balance on it.


You and me both, mechamom.


Here, though -- and I'll embiggen it for those who are skimming -- here is the part that made me decide to post again.

I mentiond on the 20th that we got a bill and a note that we would be charged $500 if we closed our account without returning our cable box.

Today, mechamom got a bill for $500. For the cable box. Which is "overdue" I guess? Even though our account is still open, and as far as I know they didn't actually tell us where to return it? Plus, when you think about it, they already owe us a cable box. We returned the old one, and then paid for it because our receipt apparently meant nothing in the magical fantasy world where Comcast corporate is located.

We're working out a plan for when we return this box. Obviously, it doesn't work for mechamom to just take it over, clarify with the nice lady behind the counter that yes, this really will end the madness, then get a receipt and leave. This time, we'll bring more witnesses, certainly; also, I'm pretty sure there's at least two cameras between all of us, and possibly three, and mine takes video. A receipt might not be proof that we gave them back their equipment, but perhaps a dozen photos and some video will. I suggested bringing along a notary to notarize signed statements by any employees who're there, stating that yes, it is RETURNED, we do not OWE anything more for the love of GOD, but mecha says that actually outside of a few narrow areas, notaries don't have any real legal weight. There's gotta be someone we can bring along who can act as an independent witness... a paralegal, maybe? I'm not sure. Thoughts?

Of course, we could have hi-def footage, shot in front of a live audience consisting of a busload of nuns, narrated by Morgan Freeman, who was THERE IN PERSON AND SAW THE WHOLE THING, and even that probably wouldn't be proof enough for Comcast. They want more of our money, and more, and more; and therefore they shall have it. Reality is for other people.




It turns out that someone else of mechamom's acquaintance is having Comcast woes right now, too. Here is how mechamom tells the story:
Ironically, this past Thursday evening, at 10:15pm, [Person and Person's husband] heard a knock at their front door. They do not have cable, but are new to the apartment complex. They were greeted by a Comcast field person, who asked them if they were interested in cable. [Person] explained that they did not have cable and were trying to save money for an upcoming move. The field person gave her an offer of $39 for cable per month, and if she would pay him cash right then, he could hook it up that night. This is at 10:15 at night!!! She said no, thanks, but if he would leave a brochure or price list, she would look at it. He stated that "when he leaves, the offer leaves with him", so she told him he would be leaving with his offer immediately. Before he left, he pushed open her front door and said "I see you have a computer, are you interested in internet? At that point, her husband jumped out of his chair, and told the field person to leave before they called the police.

Tell me, Frank, is this what Comcast considers professional business practices?


Hands up, anyone who figures that cash would've disappeared mysteriously, certainly unbeknownst to the innocent folks over at Comcast, if Person had been as stupid as Field Guy apparently thinks his marks are. Me, I'd raise mine high, except I need it to type.



I'm really starting to feel like I need popcorn in order to properly enjoy the way this little drama is continuing to unfold.


[Edit 5/28/2011: For some reason the spambots are diggin' on this post lately, so I've locked down commenting. If you are a human being who has something to say about the stuff above, though, fear not -- I am still glad to hear from you! (Even if you're another Comcast employee following the ol' list-of-excuses. I think the list is total bullshit, but I also realize that chances are you don't like it any better than I do and you're just trying to keep pulling down that paycheck to feed your kids or pay your rent or whatever. Everyone hates a telemarketer; nobody praises the telemarketer when he takes the moral high ground, quits his job, and subsequently starves to death.)

If you still want to comment on this post or one of its comments, and you're not a filthy, filthy spambot (I have a lot less sympathy for them), just click the "comcast thuggery" tag located at either the top or the bottom of this post. It will take you to a list of all the posts that I applied that tag to. Then pick a different post on the list, write your comment there, and note that you're actually responding to the post of May 24th, 2008. Then everybody wins! Except spam.]
So who wants an update on the Comcast situation? (Spoiler alert: they're still thieving bastards!)

Last week, a voicemail was left up at mechamom's, from a Comcast person who basically said "call us back tomorrow and we will TOTALLY get this thing resolved". The next day, mechamom talked to five different Comcast people over the course of a few hours. Nothing was resolved. Our cable is still out, as it has been ever since April 2, even though April's bill was paid.

I just got off the phone with mechamom; she received our "final" Comcast bill in the mail. (The quote marks are because I am sure that Comcast would continue squeezing mystery payments out of us for a thousand years if they could find a way to do it.) Since we are cancelling mid-month, they helpfully prorated our cable payment for the month of May! How generous. So we only owe eighty dollars. For the cable that, y'know, we aren't actually getting.

I guess they're selling a lack of cable now? A cable-shaped void? And that's what we paid for in April, and what they want us to pay for again?

Also included in the bill was a friendly note that if we didn't return their cable box, they would charge us $500.

Who wants to take bets that we'll return the cable box, GET A RECEIPT PROVING WE DID IT, and then be forced to pay for it since we "didn't return it"... AGAIN?

We're probably going to write this all up a bit more coherently and send it to the Consumerist. Apparently they love humiliating Comcast.

Also, to Mr. Frank, or anyone else from Comcast who might wish to comment with promises of resolution: I'm afraid my credulity can only be stretched so far.
Comcast is stalking us!

Yesterday someone came to the door and knocked, and I peeked through the spyhole, and the someone appeared to be a salesman. Not wearing the shirts the maintenance or pest-control guys wear; holding a clipboard and wearing one of those taller-than-it-is-long, probably-photo-though-I-didn't-see nametag things. This is very clearly marked as a No Soliciting Apartment Complex, Thank You Very Much, so I didn't bother opening the door. Guy knocked again, then eventually went away. I never heard him knock on any of the other doors in the building, but the fact did not really impress itself on me at the time.

Today, someone carrying a clipboard and wearing a nametag came and knocked on the door again. Mecha describes him as "skeezy-looking," which isn't terribly descriptive, but I'm quite willing to believe that it was the same guy as yesterday.

Mystery guy also stalked around to the back of the apartment and tried to look in our windows.

And it turns out that yesterday he left Expandthis little love note on our door. )

(We don't use the front door much when I'm not in school.)

According to the love note, it is apparently "too late to pay office to avoid disconnect"; I guess that means we should hand over our money to the random guy who shows up at our door! And then they can claim that we never paid the office, which means that we still owe them. If Comcast says you owe, then you owe, credit card statements, receipts, and REALITY notwithstanding.

Also, DUH it's too late to pay office to avoid disconnect. It's too late to pay anyone to avoid disconnect, because the disconnect happened APRIL SECOND.

"Dear Valued Comcast Customer". PFAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

"Blah blah bloobity blah OH NOES $39.99 RECONNECTION FEE AREN'T YOU SO SCARED THAT YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY PAY WITHOUT FURTHER QUESTIONS"

"Since you weren't home when I arrived to 'write' this obviously pre-printed message, I didn't disconnect your cable service outside your home today." That would've been a neat trick, since it hasn't been connected in over a month.

"Blah blah blah I'll come back again tomorrow" A threat, I assume. Perhaps he'll peek in our windows again.

Finally we have the notice that he would be there Sunday, i.e. today, at 8 AM. Which apparently he was, to judge from mecha's account.

Minimum balance: sixty-five bucks. Total balance: THE COST OF THAT FUCKING CABLE BOX THAT WE ALREADY RETURNED AND PAID FOR.


Mechamom emailed that Frank guy over at comcast, and thus far this has been the sum total of replies.

Comcast surely does care.

Tune in next time for more adventures of the Let's Scam And Defraud Our Customers variety!


P.S. I corrected a few errors in this entry, so now it should accurately reflect the history of this sordid little affair.
Edit 5/11/08: I talked to mechamom, and it turns out that a little bit of my chronology below is wrong. I've corrected it by crossing out the wrong stuff, and adding her corrections in [brackets]. Just keepin' my hat white on this -- I can and do forget details, but I'm not going to lie about any of this when the truth is already sickening enough.

Some years ago now -- some of you might remember, because I was stuck basically-offline then, too, although only for about a month and a half -- mecha and I forgot to pass the monthly cable bill on to mechamom, who thusly did not pay it, which means we got our Interwub and TV service cancelled. We realized our mistake, paid up the bill, et cetera, and I believe that that was what started the chain of events that has continued on until this very day. Can't quite keep the chronology straight in my head anymore, and Google indicates that I never actually LJposted about Event Two of the history, but it does seem logical that that would've started this whole thing. So I'm assuming that that's what leads into the part I DO remember. It would explain why we of all people keep getting singled out for all this madness. So call forgetting-to-pay-the-bill Event One.

Event Two, which I am assuming happened after Event One:
[Event Two, which happened immediately after we paid up our late bill from Event One:]
Our contract with Comcast back around '05 stated that we would pay a certain amount for our cable TV service -- something like thirty, forty bucks a month. Reasonable. We paid this amount[, until the one time we forgot and were late]. Then, one month [right after we paid up that late bill], suddenly, it was over two hundred bucks a month. For no apparent reason. They had decided that the "free" premium channels we got were no longer free, I think, but whatever the reason, they assured us that our contract meant nothing and that from now on we would have to pay $200 a month for our TV.

So naturally we cancelled.

They told us we had to drop off the cable box at such-and-such a place, and we did. Mechamom even got a little receipt saying that we had given them back their cable box. [She also asked the nice lady at the place if this would square us, if we would really, truly not owe anything more, or if it was too late into the billing cycle and we'd still owe the month's payment. Comcast lady swore up and down that all we needed to do was return the box and we would never hear from them again.]

Then they said that since we had never given back the cable box, we owed them about $150 to pay for it.

"Uh, hold on," mechamom said, or something like it. "See, I have this receipt that SAYS that I gave you back your cable box."

"Nope, you owe us for it," Comcast responded. "Also, you owe us $200 for the month of cable service that came after you cancelled. Pay up now."

After a very large amount of back-and-forth, mechamom gave in and paid them for the cable box that she had already returned, and for the month of cable that came after we had cancelled.

So they took mecha, whose name was on the bills, to collections for the cost of the cable box and the month of cable.


[There was a very large amount of back-and-forth, with mechamom waving her receipt and Comcast putting their fingers in their ears and going "LA LA LA". She refused to pay. They refused to let it go. Finally they took mecha, whose name was on the bills, to collections; and at THAT point, mechamom finally gave in and paid the collections agency, because she didn't want mecha's credit ruined.]

All that was Event Two.

Event Three:
We came back here to Bloomington in the tail end of 2006. At the time, Insight Communications was the only choice for cable TV, which was fine with us, as at least it wasn't Comcast. We didn't want to ever give those assholes money again.

Then Comcast bought out Insight, and took over at the start of this year.

Our billing date with Insight was... I think the 25th of each month. Mechamom did the actual bill-paying, so I didn't have to know the date, but I know it was the last week of the month. Then, this month, April, Comcast moved the bill date up to the 2nd. They didn't actually tell us, naturally. They just moved billing up by three weeks, presumably because they figured that way they could get a full month's pay for one week of actual service.

Then, since we had no idea it was time to pay again, they turned off our service for nonpayment the morning of April 2nd.

Mechamom called them, found out the problem, and paid the bill. And the cable didn't come back. And didn't come back. Repeated calls garnered only repeated promises that service would come back any day now, that it was ABSOLUTELY working. For three weeks.

A few days ago, of course, the truth came out. There is suddenly a charge on our account for about $150. They won't tell us what it's for. They "can't" tell us what it's for. They "don't know." But we absolutely have to pay it, or the cable will not come back on.

Funny how the Mystery Charge is about the price of that long-ago cable box, idn't it? Funny indeed.

So basically, at this point, fuck Comcast. They already have their cable box, AND the COST of the cable box, AND the cost of a month of cable service THAT WE NEVER RECEIVED. And, by this point, the cost of ANOTHER month of cable service, lo this merry month of April '08. And now this "we can't tell you what this charge is for, but we know you have to pay it" bullshit, which you just KNOW is SO TOTALLY not something that they would ever abuse in order to repeatedly charge you for things that you could never prove you didn't owe them for, since you would never be told what the charge was, you know, actually FOR.

I wonder if they'll take us to collections for things we already paid [don't actually owe them] for again!

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