I have the best crew

[This is all from crew chat in Puzzle Pirates. The Ghosts of the Seven Seas R0XX0R J00R S0XX0RS.]
[Remember, I am Murdoch.]

Barns says, "jhmbn"
Barns says, "[his dog] typed that"
Murdoch says, "Really? Couldn't tell the difference."
Barns says, "he is such a good typer"
Murdoch ducks.
Barns makes a bi=ottle of acid at his apoth[ecary] and throwsa it on murdoch
Murdoch says, "Ow, my spleen!"
Murdoch says, "It shouldn't be bubbling like that!"
Syous says, "ye know it has to go through flesh foirst before yer spleen"
Murdoch says, "That's the worst part."

Invasion Of The Toe Snatchers

[10:15:49] The Jennybork: I have to sleep now.
[10:17:01] emsworth: Don't sleep!
[10:17:07] The Jennybork: But I haven't slept all night!
[...]
[10:17:16] emsworth: That's good!
[10:17:23] emsworth: It means the pod people can't get to you!
[10:17:45] The Jennybork: And now I'm sleeping, sorry! There is no pod outside my window so I think I am safe.
[one sleep period later]
[21:15:12] The Jennybork: Hello. I am not a pod person.
[21:15:16] The Jennybork: *stares blankly*
[21:16:37] emsworth: Gasp!
[21:16:44] emsworth: You're next!
[21:16:55] The Jennybork: I know not what you are talking about.
[21:16:58] The Jennybork: Go to sleep now.