We are sorry to hear about the trouble you have experienced with installing our product. We do, however, note that "almost half" of the upgrade packages we sent to your company contained a digit "1" or "0" in their serial numbers. I recommend that you instruct your employees not to use "l" and "O" (letters) in place of these numbers and try reinstalling the software.
We also regret that our service department did not respond to your request in a timely fashion. However, be assured that we will respond to your original E-mail as soon as we can find a tech who can read it without bursting out laughing and having to be hospitalized as a result. Inspired by a Monty Python sketch, we've had some of our support staff attempt to run the letter through Babelfish many times, hoping to remove whatever deadly property it contains, but the translated version turned out to be fatal. We will, of course, send invitations to the funerals of the affected employees at your request. It has also been forwarded to the fine folks at Rinkworks services in the hopes that they can find a more productive use for your inquiry. Keep them in your prayers.
We also do appreciate the sports uniforms your company has graciously provided us over the past years. Our sports outings have benefited a great deal from your costuming efforts. We hope you will continue to purchase Software Solutions products and learn to use computers as effectively as our test Rhesus monkeys. (We think we may be within a few days of the last act of Hamlet. They got rather hung up about the killings and still can't spell "Rosencrantz" correctly, but then my name is not "Higgings", so I'm sure you understand the difficulty. I had quite a time myself when first trying to enter your name, ", into our database... the computer seemed to insist upon letters being in the customer name.)
- Higgins Head Cheese Software Solutions, a division of Pennand, Inc.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 06:23 pm (UTC)We are sorry to hear about the trouble you have experienced with installing our product. We do, however, note that "almost half" of the upgrade packages we sent to your company contained a digit "1" or "0" in their serial numbers. I recommend that you instruct your employees not to use "l" and "O" (letters) in place of these numbers and try reinstalling the software.
We also regret that our service department did not respond to your request in a timely fashion. However, be assured that we will respond to your original E-mail as soon as we can find a tech who can read it without bursting out laughing and having to be hospitalized as a result. Inspired by a Monty Python sketch, we've had some of our support staff attempt to run the letter through Babelfish many times, hoping to remove whatever deadly property it contains, but the translated version turned out to be fatal. We will, of course, send invitations to the funerals of the affected employees at your request. It has also been forwarded to the fine folks at Rinkworks services in the hopes that they can find a more productive use for your inquiry. Keep them in your prayers.
We also do appreciate the sports uniforms your company has graciously provided us over the past years. Our sports outings have benefited a great deal from your costuming efforts. We hope you will continue to purchase Software Solutions products and learn to use computers as effectively as our test Rhesus monkeys. (We think we may be within a few days of the last act of Hamlet. They got rather hung up about the killings and still can't spell "Rosencrantz" correctly, but then my name is not "Higgings", so I'm sure you understand the difficulty. I had quite a time myself when first trying to enter your name, ", into our database... the computer seemed to insist upon letters being in the customer name.)
- Higgins
Head Cheese
Software Solutions, a division of Pennand, Inc.