then i ate Chicago
Oct. 16th, 2001 12:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
napoleonherselfI just saw the coolest vehicle ever on the way home from skull.
A limo Hummer.
I WANT one.
There was also a limo SUV, but that wasn't nearly so cool as the Hummer.
I realized during the ride home that the disclaimer-type thingy at the bottom of my fanart page has been horribly misleading ever since I uploaded it, like, a year ago. No wonder that one guy accused me of trying to steal his intellectual property. Well, it's fixed now, at any rate. Sheesh, I can be a moron sometimes.
And now for the homework.
We were given the following situation: two individuals in front of a store of our choosing witness a third having a heart attack. The title we had to give the piece was "Life and Death". This particular assignment was to write "bad" drama. To do this, we were to use any or all of the following techniques:
I've made at least a passing attempt at all of these. In this particular assignment, I focussed on the profanity, simply because it's not something I usually do and I wanted to force myself into an unfamiliar voice for the assignment. Means if you were to read this piece and not know much else about me, you'd likely think that I'm a monstrous pottymouth. In fact, I am not. I don't swear. I sometimes skate around the edge of it when I'm particularly annoyed, but "damn" and "crap" is about as bad as I tend to get. It's just how I am. I dunno why.
By clicking on the following link, you acknowledge that you're about to read a LOT of bad words. You also have to promise to try not to suddenly be shocked and appalled and start hating me as a result of reading it. Thankee.
"Life and Death"
SCENE. A strip mall, slightly grungy, perhaps in the inner city. The concrete
of the parking lot is cracked and overgrown with weeds, and the ground is
strewn with litter. Three of the stores are visible on stage. Stage left
is a pharmacy, with brightly-colored paint in the windows advertising various
specials. Stage right is a combination mortuary and florist's, closed at
the moment. Between them is a smaller storefront, the windows of which have
been blacked over. A single, discreet sign above the door reads "Bill's Adult
Bookstore", followed by three Xs.
PETE and RICKY exit the bookstore and stand on the sidewalk.
Ricky: [rummaging in the bag he's carrying] Shit, man, I am telling
you, this thing will fucking blow your mind.
Pete: I don't know, Ricky, I really do not go in for that dominatrix shit...
[during the next few lines of dialogue, an elderly man exits the pharmacy
that is at stage left and begins walking slowly towards stage right. He carries
a small bag from the pharmacy in one hand.]
Ricky: [pulling a video out of his bag] No, no, take a look at this.
"Life and Death 5: The Final Plunge". All the other movies in this
series fucking rocked. You will love this, Pete. Trust me.
Pete: Maybe you're just a sick fuck.
Ricky: Come on, Pete, I mean, look at this! These chicks are hot! [to
the old man] Hey, gramps, check this out. Pretty hot shit, huh?
Pete: Ricky --
[The old man, in response to Ricky's accosting him, has stopped and grabbed
his chest as if pained. He drops the bag from the pharmacy, and then falls
to the ground, gasping.]
Ricky: Aw, shit.
Pete: Heh. You killed him.
Ricky: Hey, shut up, Pete.
Pete: No, wait, he is moving, so you have not killed him yet...
Ricky: Hey, shut the fuck up!
[A young woman in a flowered dress comes running from stage right.]
Woman: Dad? Oh, my God -- Dad? [she kneels by the fallen man]
Pete: Heh. Want to see if you can kill her too, Rick?
Ricky: I can think of a lot of better things to do with her... [he and
Pete laugh]
Woman: Will one of you call 911? [they don't respond] Please, this
is a matter of life and death! [when they still don't answer]
Please, can someone call an ambulance?!
Ricky: [quite obviously eyeing her] No, I do not believe so.
Pete: [even more obviously leering] Fuck no.
Woman: Are either of you going to help me?!
Ricky: Depends. Will you help me? [the two men laugh again]
Woman: Oh, my God – he's stopped breathing -- [to the two men]
Is there a phone in the pharmacy?
Pete: [ignoring the woman] Hey, Ricky, is that Misty Rain?
Ricky: Shit, yeah, she stars in all the "Life and Death" movies. Did you
not know that?
[They begin to walk off in the direction of the pharmacy, discussing the
porno flick.]
Woman: [shouting after them as they leave the stage] I hope you rot
in hell, you insensitive bastards!
[She bends over her father's body again.]
A limo Hummer.
I WANT one.
There was also a limo SUV, but that wasn't nearly so cool as the Hummer.
I realized during the ride home that the disclaimer-type thingy at the bottom of my fanart page has been horribly misleading ever since I uploaded it, like, a year ago. No wonder that one guy accused me of trying to steal his intellectual property. Well, it's fixed now, at any rate. Sheesh, I can be a moron sometimes.
And now for the homework.
We were given the following situation: two individuals in front of a store of our choosing witness a third having a heart attack. The title we had to give the piece was "Life and Death". This particular assignment was to write "bad" drama. To do this, we were to use any or all of the following techniques:
- Stereotyping of characters. They're not real people, they don't have hopes and dreams, they're not anything the audience can relate to. They're just there to be mocked by the author.
- Bad exposition, i.e. what nitpickers know as cabbageheadisms. Going on and on about prior events or knowledge when the other characters should already know, just so the audience can be made aware.
- Excessive swearing, and swearing without any artistic purpose, but merely to shock or attempt to sound "like real life".
- What the book calls "locker room raillery", or what the instructor calls "Beavis and Butthead flippancy". The trading of one-liners without any real substance to the conversation. Book cites Hawkeye from M*A*S*H as an example of flippancy that works well. For this it is blessed.
- Lack of contractions. Especially weird when you put it up against the profanity; one raises the diction level, the other lowers it. Hard to write, bizarre to read.
I've made at least a passing attempt at all of these. In this particular assignment, I focussed on the profanity, simply because it's not something I usually do and I wanted to force myself into an unfamiliar voice for the assignment. Means if you were to read this piece and not know much else about me, you'd likely think that I'm a monstrous pottymouth. In fact, I am not. I don't swear. I sometimes skate around the edge of it when I'm particularly annoyed, but "damn" and "crap" is about as bad as I tend to get. It's just how I am. I dunno why.
By clicking on the following link, you acknowledge that you're about to read a LOT of bad words. You also have to promise to try not to suddenly be shocked and appalled and start hating me as a result of reading it. Thankee.
"Life and Death"
SCENE. A strip mall, slightly grungy, perhaps in the inner city. The concrete
of the parking lot is cracked and overgrown with weeds, and the ground is
strewn with litter. Three of the stores are visible on stage. Stage left
is a pharmacy, with brightly-colored paint in the windows advertising various
specials. Stage right is a combination mortuary and florist's, closed at
the moment. Between them is a smaller storefront, the windows of which have
been blacked over. A single, discreet sign above the door reads "Bill's Adult
Bookstore", followed by three Xs.
PETE and RICKY exit the bookstore and stand on the sidewalk.
Ricky: [rummaging in the bag he's carrying] Shit, man, I am telling
you, this thing will fucking blow your mind.
Pete: I don't know, Ricky, I really do not go in for that dominatrix shit...
[during the next few lines of dialogue, an elderly man exits the pharmacy
that is at stage left and begins walking slowly towards stage right. He carries
a small bag from the pharmacy in one hand.]
Ricky: [pulling a video out of his bag] No, no, take a look at this.
"Life and Death 5: The Final Plunge". All the other movies in this
series fucking rocked. You will love this, Pete. Trust me.
Pete: Maybe you're just a sick fuck.
Ricky: Come on, Pete, I mean, look at this! These chicks are hot! [to
the old man] Hey, gramps, check this out. Pretty hot shit, huh?
Pete: Ricky --
[The old man, in response to Ricky's accosting him, has stopped and grabbed
his chest as if pained. He drops the bag from the pharmacy, and then falls
to the ground, gasping.]
Ricky: Aw, shit.
Pete: Heh. You killed him.
Ricky: Hey, shut up, Pete.
Pete: No, wait, he is moving, so you have not killed him yet...
Ricky: Hey, shut the fuck up!
[A young woman in a flowered dress comes running from stage right.]
Woman: Dad? Oh, my God -- Dad? [she kneels by the fallen man]
Pete: Heh. Want to see if you can kill her too, Rick?
Ricky: I can think of a lot of better things to do with her... [he and
Pete laugh]
Woman: Will one of you call 911? [they don't respond] Please, this
is a matter of life and death! [when they still don't answer]
Please, can someone call an ambulance?!
Ricky: [quite obviously eyeing her] No, I do not believe so.
Pete: [even more obviously leering] Fuck no.
Woman: Are either of you going to help me?!
Ricky: Depends. Will you help me? [the two men laugh again]
Woman: Oh, my God – he's stopped breathing -- [to the two men]
Is there a phone in the pharmacy?
Pete: [ignoring the woman] Hey, Ricky, is that Misty Rain?
Ricky: Shit, yeah, she stars in all the "Life and Death" movies. Did you
not know that?
[They begin to walk off in the direction of the pharmacy, discussing the
porno flick.]
Woman: [shouting after them as they leave the stage] I hope you rot
in hell, you insensitive bastards!
[She bends over her father's body again.]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 12:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 12:46 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2001-10-16 12:50 pm (UTC)Cause I've already applied for emperor of the galaxy.
And I'm gonna use flying monkeys for my transpotation needs.
no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 12:57 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2001-10-16 01:00 pm (UTC)I mean really.
no subject
For as short as it is, you did quite well to use all those techniques. I can tell that profanity comes awkwardly for you, though.
no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 12:54 pm (UTC)I'm liking the current assignment much better. Back to my own voice and vocabulary.
*adds your eyes to the list for no reason other than that she can*
no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 04:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 05:20 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2001-10-16 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
The problems are avoided if there is at least one character (preferably the more intelligent one) who doesn't swear at all. Then it becomes clear that the profanity is simply a characterization tool (and a rather effective one, in my mind).
no subject
Date: 2001-10-16 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-17 06:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-17 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-10-17 09:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-08-26 10:06 am (UTC)What's WRONG with you people?