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mmmmm tasty aminals
Sep. 6th, 2001 12:28 pmLately I've been reading Stephen King's The Stand (again), and I've found that before class is an excellent time to work through a few more pages -- I tend to get there five, ten minutes early, and I've nothing better to do, so why not read? As soon as the instructor starts making teaching noises, the book gets put away and the notetaking begins.
However, as I was reading before my creative writing class today, I suddenly became aware thet the instructor was no longer jotting stuff down on the board as she usually does before class. She was leaning against the board. And it felt like she was looking at me. I glanced up. She was. Oh crap.
I quickly marked my place and closed the book, trying not to be too freaked out by the way she was looking at me, hoping frantically that that look wouldn't turn into The Look, when she remarked "Your powers are useless." It took me a moment to realize she was talking about my shirt. Whew. Not The Look after all, just a sort of boggly stare at my choice of attire.
After I was done being freaked out at unexpectedly being the center of attention like that, though, I had to laugh, at least metaphorically. Today we turned in our first workshop assignment, a fictionalized version of an event in our life using a similarly fictionalized character, and in that brief moment before class I was -- was -- that character. I had exaggerated my own fears in my portrayal of poor Beth, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. Doesn't mean I don't get the horrible feeling that everyone is staring at me every time I walk across campus, doesn't mean that I don't have to consciously focus on every move and gesture I make and every word I say and even how loud my laughter is when in the company of strangers so I don't accidentally do something dumb... I'm not as bad off as fictionalized-me is, though. I can get through my day just fine without screaming, thankyewverymuch. But in that instant, when Dr. Cappeluti was staring at me, when she read the slogan off my shirt and I then had to make some sort of halfway intelligent reply... man. That was a rush of the ungood kind.
Well. Neurosis aside, class was okay. And after mommy picked me up I confirmed that Chris P.'s Pocky has been sent on its merry way, and I got to eat aminal crackers. There were no monkeys (with OR without pants) or hippos, but there was one that I have declared to be a wolverine! I don't think I can eat that one now. Even though the rest of the crackers were good. Arr umm num.
Tomorrow I will have to perform a monologue in front of my theater class. Break out the butterfly nets and the pretty white coats, my friends: I'm looking forward to doing so. That's me, all right; can't walk across campus without getting the shakes and feeling horribly exposed, but tell me I have to talk in front of my class FOR A GRADE and I get excited. Heh.
However, as I was reading before my creative writing class today, I suddenly became aware thet the instructor was no longer jotting stuff down on the board as she usually does before class. She was leaning against the board. And it felt like she was looking at me. I glanced up. She was. Oh crap.
I quickly marked my place and closed the book, trying not to be too freaked out by the way she was looking at me, hoping frantically that that look wouldn't turn into The Look, when she remarked "Your powers are useless." It took me a moment to realize she was talking about my shirt. Whew. Not The Look after all, just a sort of boggly stare at my choice of attire.
After I was done being freaked out at unexpectedly being the center of attention like that, though, I had to laugh, at least metaphorically. Today we turned in our first workshop assignment, a fictionalized version of an event in our life using a similarly fictionalized character, and in that brief moment before class I was -- was -- that character. I had exaggerated my own fears in my portrayal of poor Beth, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. Doesn't mean I don't get the horrible feeling that everyone is staring at me every time I walk across campus, doesn't mean that I don't have to consciously focus on every move and gesture I make and every word I say and even how loud my laughter is when in the company of strangers so I don't accidentally do something dumb... I'm not as bad off as fictionalized-me is, though. I can get through my day just fine without screaming, thankyewverymuch. But in that instant, when Dr. Cappeluti was staring at me, when she read the slogan off my shirt and I then had to make some sort of halfway intelligent reply... man. That was a rush of the ungood kind.
Well. Neurosis aside, class was okay. And after mommy picked me up I confirmed that Chris P.'s Pocky has been sent on its merry way, and I got to eat aminal crackers. There were no monkeys (with OR without pants) or hippos, but there was one that I have declared to be a wolverine! I don't think I can eat that one now. Even though the rest of the crackers were good. Arr umm num.
Tomorrow I will have to perform a monologue in front of my theater class. Break out the butterfly nets and the pretty white coats, my friends: I'm looking forward to doing so. That's me, all right; can't walk across campus without getting the shakes and feeling horribly exposed, but tell me I have to talk in front of my class FOR A GRADE and I get excited. Heh.
