Mmm, chicken for breakfast

[napoleonherself]

Is coffee of the devil? Only when it hurts my tummy.
What's the weirdest name you've ever heard? braaaaaaaaaainsarhgahrhgharhgaghghgh, the nice zombie who lives down the street. He's always stopping in to borrow a cup of braaaaaaains...
Have you ever had a pet name? Yep.
Ever made a pot out of hemp? Indeed not.
Do you like rufio? Um... wasn't that the punk kid in Hook?
If you said no to the last question... WHY NOT????? Schnergle.
How many houses have you lived in in your lifetime? I think only one, and the rest were either apartments or this trailer.
Where was the last place you slept? My bed. Duh.
Who was the last person you scared? Becky, I think, when I made us both think that the tag had fallen off the wheelchair we'd rented at Disneyland...
Do you talk to strangers? Not unless I absolutely have to.
Doesn't the guy from the greenday "warning" video look like toby from the KGB? "The guy"? Doesn't he have a NAME? At any rate, I don't know.
Who was the last person to get your phone #/ email address? I gave someone a business card with my phone number on the back a couple months ago now. She never called. Ah well.
Do you know how to say "bite me" in another language? Sadly, no.
Can you curse in german? Nope.
Have you ever sung opera? I have no desire to rupture my throat, thanks.
Do you like classical music? As long as it's something good like Bach or Beethoven or Shostakovich (which I prolly misspelled). None of that light-n-fluffy Debussey crap.
When was the last time you sung at the top of your lungs? Quite a while ago now.
Do you sing in the shower? Not often.
Do you take showers? No, I scrape the dirt off with a spatula. *rolls eyes*
Have you ever been so hyper you created a survey? Indeed not.
Did you ever think about checking yourself into a mental ward? Yep!
Do you think you're attractive? I was an ugly, ugly child, but I like to think that I have by now grown into my features, as it were, and achieved a respectable degree of plainness.
Am I being random? Bottle punt nog.
Do you like randomness? Yep!
When was the last time someone called you a freak? I dunno.
Wheatus rocks! How nice for them.
Quote one of your favorite song lyrics. "A monkey's got it made, you see, swingin' from the vine of a coconut tree" (Nine Days, End Up Alone). Because it just came up on my CD, and it always amuses me highly.
What is one song you always play very loudly? I have a system for that. The more I like something, the louder it gets turned up. Stuff like Nirvana and TMBG thus gets blasted relatively loud.
Do you have a nice voice? It allows me to communicate, that's nice of it.
Do you sing along to your radio? Very seldom to the radio 'cause I mostly only listen to it in the car and mom's there. Very often to music I'm listening to on the computer, though.
Why am I thinking about music? Why not?
If the band is "better than ezra" who the heck is ezra? Some guy I wrote into the play I turned in to Theater class last month.
What grosses you out? Lots and lots of things...
Who would you like to meet? I was just discussing this with Becky the other day... I have a short list of people I REALLY want to meet, and then a slightly longer list of people that it'd be nice but I don't spend idle moments fakenplanning the day. After Brian visits us, there'll only be one more name on the short list. Sadly, that name will probably remain for a long time. Wah.
Have you ever done something stupid? Hell yeah.
Do you feel stupid filling out this survey? Of course not! I love surveys.
How old are you mentally? sqrt(-1)
Have you ever played big booty? Uh?
Tell me a racist joke! I can't stand here listening to you and your racist friend.
What's the meaning of life? 42?
What is the question? Third base.
Why am I writing a survey? Because the pixies in your head told you to.
Did you know that hard rock café in SF has flavored condoms for sale in the women's bathroom? How lovely.
Are you tired? Yes, even though I just woke up an hour ago and only just GOT up half an hour ago.
What time is it? 8:33 AM
What time is it now? 8:34 AM (it changed just as I was about to type 'STILL 8:33 AM'... hooray!)
What time was it two minutes ago? Pi.
What time was it at 6:30 this morning? Purple monkey pants.
Did you have to think about the last question? Yes.
Boxers or briefs? Don't care.
Can you rap? I once wrote a rap about Robert Frost's "Death of the Hired Man" for a group project in English... then the others made me perform it... and THEN the teacher had us record it for posterity. Oy. 'There's this guy named Silas, he's really old / And he's come back to this farmhouse 'cause it's really cold / But what Mary don't realize, and Warren don't know / Is that Silas is already dead. (Yo!)' It got worse from there, I think, but thankfully I can't remember much of the rest. Just a hint, boys and girls, fat white geekettes should NOT rap.
Are you a player? Definitely not.
Word association time!
Castro: Beard.
Yellow: Coldplay.
Spanish: Rice.
Yesterday: All my troubles seemed so far away.
Food: Yum!
Coffee: Yum!
Pasta?: Tomato sauce; stomachache. Urk.
Rose: Red.
911: 'If you are being murdered, please, stay on the line.'
Morph: X-Men cartoon episode where he tried to take out Jubilee.
Manic: Panic?

K, enough of that. Is alien ant farm the devil for doing a cover of smooth criminal? I haven't heard any version of the song, so bork.
What is an izit? What izit?
Boom? Hooray!
Is the time 2:22? It's well past that.
What is your name? Jenny
What is your quest? I seek the Holy Spork.
What is your favorite color? Blue... no, yeAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIGHHH!!!
Is Ben cute? Ben who?
I spy with my little eye...
What is right in front of you? My keyboard.
Beside you? Remains of brekkers.
How many windows are open on your monitor? Only five, amazingly enough... CompuCrap, an LJ "Read Comments" page, cdplayer, a SocialMUX log, and this notepad window.
What color are your nails? Nail-colored.
Do they shine like justice? They shine like relatively-healthy nails.
Do you like Cake(the band) or cake(the food) better? The food. Sugar is my friend. Cake the band is okay, but they ain't sugar.
How many people named john/jon do you know? Personally? None. Know OF? Three that I can think of offhand... John, John, and Jon.
Are girl screamers cool? Who?
Is this survey too long? Nah.





If you were an element, what element would you be? Sodium.
If you were a number, what number would you be? sqrt(-5)
If you were a color, what color would you be? Gray-blue.
If you were an emotion, what emotion would you be? Confusion.
If you were a sound, what sound would you be? A bork.
If you were a body function, what would it be? Yawning.
If you were a song, what song would you be? A very off-key one.
If you were a virtue, what virtue would you be? Uhh... I don't know what the virtues are.
If you were land, what kind of land would you be? Hilly and heavily forested.
If you were water what kind of water would you be? The type mom gets out of the machine in front of the grocery store for a quarter a gallon.
If you were wind what kind of wind would you be? Cold and rain-enhanced.
If you were fire, what kind of fire would you be? Bonfire on which has been tossed a whole lotta Creed albums.
If you were a stone, what stone would you be? Pumice.
If you were a metal, what metal would you be? Sodium!
If you were a wood, what wood would you be? Driftwood.
If you were a sense, what sense would you be? Foreboding.
If you were a temperature, what temperature would you be? Slightly below room temp.
If you were a word, what word would you be? Defenestration!
If you were a facial expression/gesture, what would it be? Confused stare.
If you were a weather condition, what weather condition would you be? Downpour of delicious January rain.





1. If you had to select the one thing in life you feel the guiltiest about, what would it be? Not keeping up with all the people who I supposedly was friends with in high school. I suck.

2. If you had to describe the most memorable night of your life, what would you say? Probably "We were stuck... at the mall... two miles from home... without a car... at 9:00... on a SCHOOL NIGHT." Then Becky and I would look at each other and crack up laughing.

3. If you had to choose the one thing that gives you the most comfort, what would it be? My blankets! They're warm.

4. If you had to nominate one person you have known for sainthood, whom would you choose? If I HAD to? Myself. Maybe then I could get discounts on stuff.

5. If you had to name the single most erotic part of the human body, what would it be? The left eyebrow.

6. If you could say (or have said) one thing to your father on his deathbed, what would it be? Nothing.

7. If you could have only one part of your body massaged every day, what part would you choose? Back/shoulders/neck.

8. If you had to choose the one animal or insect species that is most beautiful, which would you pick? Kitty! Kitties r0xx0r!

9. If you could suddenly find out that one work of fiction was actually true, what book would you select? Uhh. I dunno. Sandman? I wanna live in the Dreaming and have a pet gargoyle and stuff...

10. If you suddenly found the courage to do one thing you have always been afraid of doing, what would you want it to be? Well, I have to this day never been able to tell a guy I like him until he's dropped enough hints along the same lines that I know for almost-certain-sure that it's safe...

11. If you had to choose the single most charming person you have ever met; who would win? That semicolon should be a comma.

12. If you had to pay one dollar for every time you thought of sex in any form, how long would it be before you went bankrupt? Pretty long time.

13. If you were to be paid to write a new book on any subject you wished, what would it be about? Monkeys hurtling through windows as frooning sporks cheer.

14a. If you were to have three new baby daughters, what would you name them? Bork, Schnergle, and Poit.

14b. If you were to have two new baby sons, what would you name them? Fnord and Wurble.

15. If you had to name the one thing that really makes your day, what would it be? Being fuzzied.

16. If you could change one thing about your typical day, what would it be? I'd be able to make it through the whole day without having to nap in the middle of it.

17. If you were to name the most clear proof that evil exists in the world, what would you say? Flash my Paisley Side membership card, if I hadn't gone and lost the template which means I need to make new cards...

18. If you were to confess to how many people you have honestly been in love with, what would you say? Two, I think.

19. If you had to name the most difficult goodbye you've ever said, what would it be? I dunno.

20. If you had to name the grossest thing you have ever put in your mouth, what would it be? When I was about seven I took a spoon out to the playground, dug around in the dirt with the spoon, then for whatever reason put the spoon in my mouth.

21. If you had to name the single physical characteristic about yourself that most resembles your mother or father, what would it be? I look disturbingly like my mom. Absolute strangers will approach us and ask us if we're sisters.

22. If you had to name the most violent scene in a movie you have ever seen, what would it be? Probably something outta Fight Club...

23. If you could personally see one natural phenomenon that you have never seen, what would it be? The Aurora Borealis.

24. If you could be given the complete film library of any actor, whom would you pick? Umm... hmm. That is a very good question. If it's on DVD, and if it includes tv shows, then Bruce Campbell 'cause then I don't have to worry about wearing out my Brisco tapes...

25. If, from all the people you know, you were to pick a person whose name truly suits them, whom would you choose? Doesn't 'Brian' mean mighty or something like that? From all accounts, Brian seems fairly mighty, what with the slinging around of boxes and whatnot. Although I'll still whup his butt when he comes out here to visit us.

26. If you could guarantee the happiness of any person in the world because they most deserve it, whom would you pick? *takes Fifth*

27. If you could repeat one experience you had with another person, who and what would it be? *takes Fifth again*

28. If you could avoid one physical ailment in your old age, what would it be? Pain. I'd ask to keep what little mind I have, but that isn't PHYSICAL, so I guess it's out...

29. If you were to name the one possession that means the most to you, what would it be? I suppose my computer, since it does so much for me. Even if it does suxx0r.

30. If you could receive more affection from someone you know from now on, who would it be? Well, I would like a real, genuine, non-text-ful hug from someone whom I shall not incriminate by naming...

31. If you had to name the issue that will be most important in the next election, what would it be? Gum and sap.

32. If you could spend next New Year's Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom? Bleah, hafta take Fifth again.

33. If you were to make any hotel room your home for a year, where would it be? Whatever is the very cleanest hotel room in the world. Generally speaking, those places are DISGUSTING.

34. If you could be any sign of the zodiac other than your own, what would you want to be? When I was a kid I wanted to be Virgo 'cause Virgo's symbol is a pretty girl... now I don't care, tho.

35. If you had to name the one thing about your life right now that you would not change, what would it be? The fact that I'm relatively happy and relatively healthy. Hooray for not vomiting constantly!

Th'end.