I haven't been commenting much in general, recently. But I know you don't read my journal posts, so it's hard to get past my tit-for-tat attitude and give tat for no tit. Or something.
Um, hi.
Some people are just jerks and don't need any reason to dislike you, so appearance isn't even an issue there. There's not a great deal you can do about that. Some people will be elitists and dislike you for a particular, generally meaningless reason. Your appearance might be the reason they choose. They, also, are jerks and there's not a great deal you can do about it. What you might want to do is try to meet more people who WON'T judge you based on your appearance. And the easiest way to do that (other than going out of your way to meet specific people who might, say, live in Bloomington, not know many people in the area, and have shown some interest in meeting you... can't think of anyone who fits that description offhand, but you never know) is to meet more people of all of those kinds, some of whom are bound to find more valid reasons to dislike you, or possibly even end up liking you because they're not jerks. They're rare, but special people.
And having a better self-image helps, although there's a vicious cycle in that area that I'm painfully aware of. It takes a lot of work to improve your self-image, but again, the best thing to do is get close enough to people that they're willing to share their hang-ups with you, and yours will start to seem less out of place and more like exactly the sort of thing we all have to deal with. Everyone has them... only some people let them ruin their lives.
I hope that doesn't count as a pat-pat or a fine then. I further hope that it helps you in some way.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 01:15 pm (UTC)Um, hi.
Some people are just jerks and don't need any reason to dislike you, so appearance isn't even an issue there. There's not a great deal you can do about that. Some people will be elitists and dislike you for a particular, generally meaningless reason. Your appearance might be the reason they choose. They, also, are jerks and there's not a great deal you can do about it. What you might want to do is try to meet more people who WON'T judge you based on your appearance. And the easiest way to do that (other than going out of your way to meet specific people who might, say, live in Bloomington, not know many people in the area, and have shown some interest in meeting you... can't think of anyone who fits that description offhand, but you never know) is to meet more people of all of those kinds, some of whom are bound to find more valid reasons to dislike you, or possibly even end up liking you because they're not jerks. They're rare, but special people.
And having a better self-image helps, although there's a vicious cycle in that area that I'm painfully aware of. It takes a lot of work to improve your self-image, but again, the best thing to do is get close enough to people that they're willing to share their hang-ups with you, and yours will start to seem less out of place and more like exactly the sort of thing we all have to deal with. Everyone has them... only some people let them ruin their lives.
I hope that doesn't count as a pat-pat or a fine then. I further hope that it helps you in some way.