[personal profile] napoleonherself
Today's review: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Up early 'cause I'm sleepy. Or something.

Yeah.

Date: 2006-04-10 01:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryl.livejournal.com
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. You cut through all the gore and got to the key mistake of the movie: WHY DID THEY TAKE THE DAMN SHORTCUT????

That movie hurt me on several levels. I want to hurt it back.

Date: 2006-04-10 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] napoleonherself.livejournal.com
Yeah, apparently there's some kind of Code Of Horror Movie Ethics...

- If the creepy local guy tells you there's a shortcut/alternate route/old hotel you can stay at for the night/whatever? Cheerfully take his advice.
- If all eight or ten tires on your vehicles blow out at once? It's just the heat. Don't worry about it.
- If the local guy tells you to take a shortcut and that shortcut ends in a crater? How could that mean anything sinister? Sure, he's a local and had to have known that his shortcut ended in a FUCKING CRATER. But what's that got to do with anything?
- If the crater is full of cars with nice shiny new possessions in the cars? And a boat? And a SCHOOL BUS? Don't get suspicious. There's probably just a lot of local desert people who are crazy enough to buy things and then immediately put those things in the local dumping crater, but who I'm sure aren't nearly crazy enough to try to kill you.
- If there are evil people running around doing stuff, run off with nothing more than a "Brenda, watch the baby". Don't bother to make sure Brenda's okay. Surely none of the evil people are in there with her right now.
- If there's a creepy guy with a giant head saying evil deady things about your baby, run off without killing him. I'm sure nothing bad will come of leaving one of your enemies alive and still able to communicate.
- If you've just shot a crazy murderous guy? Leave your weapon right by his body. After all, nobody has ever survived being shot, ever. He can't possibly stand up, grab your gun, and aim it at you.
- Whatever you do, if there's a whole group of crazy murderous people out there, and a single one of them comes after you? Blow up your only shelter to get rid of him, while you are still out in the desert, miles from help, with who knows how many more of them out there. There are absolutely no ill effects that can come from this course of action.

The pickaxe scene at the beginning was pretty awesome though.

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