Canned green beans should not crunch.
Jan. 18th, 2007 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
napoleonherselfMy day, more or less chronologically.
This morning the neighbors awoke me by slamming kitchen drawers open and shut, as they often do. Their kitchen is on the other side of an all-too-thin wall from my bedroom, you see. And they really seem to hate those drawers. So they woke me up, and I drifted off into more broken sleep, and then at some point looked at my alarm clock and it was almost 6 AM. So they were probably slamming those drawers at closer to 5. Thanks, guys. I hate you and wish you would move out and be replaced by a family of narcoleptic mimes.
I kept almost breaking into tears during my first class, which is obviously not an acceptable turn of events. While walking to the bus stop and waiting for the bus I kept wondering whether I should try a walk-in counseling session or whether I should try to hold out for the appointment I made for next Friday; finally the bus decided for me, by being one of the "limited" ones that only go to the library and then make everyone get off. The health center is just across both the streets from the library. So off I went, across the streets and up to the fourth floor, and managed to get in with a counselor after a minimal wait.
Since it was just a walk-in we didn't really have the time to go very in-depth (though I still managed to go overtime, but eh). Still, I talked some to a person and left feeling better, so that's something. I also canceled the appointment with the other person, and scheduled another oen with the woman I saw today, on Monday. I don't know how long I'll keep seeing her, but I guess "as long as it helps" is a good rubrick for now.
When I asked, she said that the very vague cut-off line between "still standard grieving" and "gone on into just plain depression" is about a year. It's also a total garbage number, because everybody is different, but. It is fucking terrifying feeling like this and having no idea when you might expect it to start getting better. It is a little easier having a number in front of you. A year. It is something solid. I can work with that.
After checking out of the health center I came home, had barely enough time to get a shower and grab some food, and had to go back to campus again. Sat and wrote a cheesy little C# program in lab, waited way too long for the bus to show up, came home again. Sat at the computer and talked to silly people for a while, including introducing someone to the wonders of Silent Garfield; also secured dinner for myself. Dinner was stuffing and canned green beans, which was the closest thing I had to fresh greens which is what I am desperately craving right now. Only the beans A) tasted like metal and B) crunched in a manner similar to getting a bit of bone in with your shredded/ground meat product. Um. Yeah, down the disposal with that, then. Canned green beans are not supposed to crunch. They just aren't. Fresh ones, sure, with that veggie-type crunch. But not canned ones and not like this. Yick.
I should go to bed right about now, but instead I am typing a post while listening to the gangsta rap portion of the GTA:SA soundtrack. I really can't go without listening to music because it helps keep my brain busy, but at the same time like 90% of my music collection is currently depressing in some way (genuinely depressing songs and/or songs of lost love; songs of non-lost love; bands I learned of through Chris; bands I enjoyed the music of with Chris; bands whose music I at any point associated with Chris in some way; &c). Radio Los Santos, though, is for some reason "safe" as it were. So is the Silence Of The Lambs musical, but that's only about 20 minutes long so it gets real old real fast if you leave it going.
EXCITEMENT ABOUNDS.
This morning the neighbors awoke me by slamming kitchen drawers open and shut, as they often do. Their kitchen is on the other side of an all-too-thin wall from my bedroom, you see. And they really seem to hate those drawers. So they woke me up, and I drifted off into more broken sleep, and then at some point looked at my alarm clock and it was almost 6 AM. So they were probably slamming those drawers at closer to 5. Thanks, guys. I hate you and wish you would move out and be replaced by a family of narcoleptic mimes.
I kept almost breaking into tears during my first class, which is obviously not an acceptable turn of events. While walking to the bus stop and waiting for the bus I kept wondering whether I should try a walk-in counseling session or whether I should try to hold out for the appointment I made for next Friday; finally the bus decided for me, by being one of the "limited" ones that only go to the library and then make everyone get off. The health center is just across both the streets from the library. So off I went, across the streets and up to the fourth floor, and managed to get in with a counselor after a minimal wait.
Since it was just a walk-in we didn't really have the time to go very in-depth (though I still managed to go overtime, but eh). Still, I talked some to a person and left feeling better, so that's something. I also canceled the appointment with the other person, and scheduled another oen with the woman I saw today, on Monday. I don't know how long I'll keep seeing her, but I guess "as long as it helps" is a good rubrick for now.
When I asked, she said that the very vague cut-off line between "still standard grieving" and "gone on into just plain depression" is about a year. It's also a total garbage number, because everybody is different, but. It is fucking terrifying feeling like this and having no idea when you might expect it to start getting better. It is a little easier having a number in front of you. A year. It is something solid. I can work with that.
After checking out of the health center I came home, had barely enough time to get a shower and grab some food, and had to go back to campus again. Sat and wrote a cheesy little C# program in lab, waited way too long for the bus to show up, came home again. Sat at the computer and talked to silly people for a while, including introducing someone to the wonders of Silent Garfield; also secured dinner for myself. Dinner was stuffing and canned green beans, which was the closest thing I had to fresh greens which is what I am desperately craving right now. Only the beans A) tasted like metal and B) crunched in a manner similar to getting a bit of bone in with your shredded/ground meat product. Um. Yeah, down the disposal with that, then. Canned green beans are not supposed to crunch. They just aren't. Fresh ones, sure, with that veggie-type crunch. But not canned ones and not like this. Yick.
I should go to bed right about now, but instead I am typing a post while listening to the gangsta rap portion of the GTA:SA soundtrack. I really can't go without listening to music because it helps keep my brain busy, but at the same time like 90% of my music collection is currently depressing in some way (genuinely depressing songs and/or songs of lost love; songs of non-lost love; bands I learned of through Chris; bands I enjoyed the music of with Chris; bands whose music I at any point associated with Chris in some way; &c). Radio Los Santos, though, is for some reason "safe" as it were. So is the Silence Of The Lambs musical, but that's only about 20 minutes long so it gets real old real fast if you leave it going.
EXCITEMENT ABOUNDS.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-19 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-20 08:35 pm (UTC)