Nostalgia at its worst
Jul. 18th, 2001 07:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
napoleonherselfI just came across my senior yearbook, and decided to flip through it and maybe get a chuckle out of remembering all the things one typically remembers about high school. Except according to my yearbook, there wasn't much to remember. No candid pictures of me, nor any of the people I commonly hung out with. No quotes from us in the cheesy little quote columns scattered throughout the senior section of the yearbook. It was like our little group didn't exist. We had our individual photos, and mentions in whatever clubs we might have been in (although I was nowhere to be found in the FFA section, partially because the names given were about THREE YEARS out of date, not to mention that the photo was taken at an officers-only competition besides, and I couldn't get elected to officer because I wasn't flerging POPULAR enough...), but aside from that, just about nothing. We weren't the hugely popular ones, even if we weren't the outcasts either. I guess we just fell in the middle and wound up being ignored.
On top of that, there are almost no signatures in back of my yearbook. Five or six, maybe. And a page that has a few lines on it, followed by a post-it note saying "reserved", because I wound up being sick and missing the last full day of class and never got to go back and get my signaturin' finished.
I can page through and recognize almost every face in the senior section, I can grin at the memory of some of the more interesting people, but all it does is remind me that when they look through their yearbooks, in most cases, they won't even recognize me, or at least not be able to recall any reason why my picture might look vaguely familiar. I didn't join in; I lurked. I got to know so many people's quirks just from being in the same classes with them, but since I seldom got the guts to join in on discussions, few people got to know me. Sometimes it seemed like I wasn't even there.
I'm not saying I didn't have friends. I had a few friends, and bunches of casual acquaintances who were always good for a word or two of conversation. But they're all gone now except for Becky, and I've found no new friends at college, and I'm starting to think that maybe my last couple years of high school were just a big giant fluke. I'm just not meant to be one of those people who has a group of other people to do things with.
Blah. I hate it when I'm whiny and nonsensical and depressed. I guess listening to Bob Dylan isn't helping any... *puts on something a bit more cheery*
On top of that, there are almost no signatures in back of my yearbook. Five or six, maybe. And a page that has a few lines on it, followed by a post-it note saying "reserved", because I wound up being sick and missing the last full day of class and never got to go back and get my signaturin' finished.
I can page through and recognize almost every face in the senior section, I can grin at the memory of some of the more interesting people, but all it does is remind me that when they look through their yearbooks, in most cases, they won't even recognize me, or at least not be able to recall any reason why my picture might look vaguely familiar. I didn't join in; I lurked. I got to know so many people's quirks just from being in the same classes with them, but since I seldom got the guts to join in on discussions, few people got to know me. Sometimes it seemed like I wasn't even there.
I'm not saying I didn't have friends. I had a few friends, and bunches of casual acquaintances who were always good for a word or two of conversation. But they're all gone now except for Becky, and I've found no new friends at college, and I'm starting to think that maybe my last couple years of high school were just a big giant fluke. I'm just not meant to be one of those people who has a group of other people to do things with.
Blah. I hate it when I'm whiny and nonsensical and depressed. I guess listening to Bob Dylan isn't helping any... *puts on something a bit more cheery*
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Re: Count yourself among the blessed
Date: 2001-07-19 10:19 pm (UTC)Re: Count yourself among the blessed
Date: 2001-07-19 10:44 pm (UTC)