omfglolwtfaolbbqtoes

[napoleonherself]

I'd already seen about that car designed only by female Volvo employees, but I hadn't seen it in this much detail.

Some highlights!

Seat pads, attached with magnets, can be removed to be cleaned. And the pads are available in different colours and textures to match a woman's outfit, or even the weather. Because it's really important for a woman's car's interior to match her outfit every day.

[T]he back seats[,] like cinema seats, are folded down only when needed for seating, leaving space for shopping and sports bags[...] Because goodness knows, what MY car needs is more room for the SPECIFIC purpose of carrying MORE SHOPPING BAGS.

The car's bonnet is another fun feature.
The whole front of the car is moulded in one piece which can be removed only by a Volvo mechanic.
"Honestly, the only time I open the bonnet on my car is when I want to fill up washer fluid," said Tatiana Butovitsch Temm.
Ms. Temm then went on to say, "After all, I am a woman, and that means I am far, far too stupid to ever, say, change the oil. If I even tried, I might ruin my lovely new outfit -- which is why it's far better to just go pay the mechanic to do every single tiny little bit of maintenance instead."

Comfort for female drivers is another area traditional car designers often ignore, according to Volvo´s women.
So they have implemented a body scanning system which enables the car to automatically adjust seats, mirrors, steering wheels and pedals. Because women are too stupid to adjust these things themselves.

Volvo will never actually take this car into production, of course.
THANK GOD.

I'm assuming the details aren't hoaxy, because the BBC doesn't tend to say "hey, let's make some stuff up today, it'll be amusing". Therefore, thank you very much, female Volvo employees, for so expertly reinforcing so many negative stereotypes about your own gender. You truly are a disgrace to us all.

(his narcoleptic majesty wing_zero_ew showed me this. props to him.)

Comments

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

I'm assuming the details aren't hoaxy, because the BBC doesn't tend to say "hey, let's make some stuff up today, it'll be amusing".

'Cept maybe that one time

Although personally, I'm not sure the BBC was wrong in that matter, and SOMEONE sure as hell sexed up Iraq 'intelligence'. Mostly GW Bush and crew.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

Also, I'm not narcoleptic.

At all.

So there.

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

ARE TOO

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

AM NOT SO THERE.

Also, where did you get these props you gave me? DID YOU STEAL THEM? YOU STOLE THEM DIDN'T YOU? OH GOD, OUR JENNY IS A DELINQUENT.

TIME TO LOBOTOMIZE HER!

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

I BITE YOU

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

NO I BITE YOU SO THERE HAHA

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

diiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[ohamsie.livejournal.com]

What about the part that doesn't alert you when it needs an oil change, but instead calls local mechanics? The first car with spyware, wonderful.

This is made all the worst by the fact that people are making such a big deal that it was designed by women. I think they should instead focus on the fact that it was designed by idiots.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

Ah but the entire point of this publicity stunt for Volvo was to show what women designers would make with women specifically in mind.

This shows their self-loathing and contempt for their own gender as much as it shows anything else.

Sad, sad.

[ohamsie.livejournal.com]

I will never understand the female mind, except to know that it is completely illogical.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

The whole front of the car is moulded in one piece which can be removed only by a Volvo mechanic.

Trust me, if it was my car, I'd have that little "bonnet" off with a screwdriver and an allen wrench within the first five minutes. I need to get in there to change fluids and make sure belts are still connected and stuff.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

That's the beauty -- YOU CAN'T!

As it says there, and indicates in pictures, the front is one entire mold. You'd have to rip the bodywork completely off your car, or use some no-doubt special proprietary tool to gain access in a less destructive manner. Thusly only Volvo mechanics can service the car, putting them in a theoretical monopoly position on basic services.


Shame this car won't really be made. I approve of anything that separates fools from their money this efficiently.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

Oh yes I can. Even if I have to go to my BIL who belongs to a Jeep club*, by god I will have the hood off of that car. I WILL NOT BE DENIED ACCESS TO THE INNER WORKINGS OF MY CAR. Even if I don't know what 95% of what I'm looking at is, I can see if something's b0rken. Anyway, it's a challenge.

I approve of anything that separates fools from their money this efficiently.
That's why I like the H2 Hummers.

*Jeep club guys routinely rebuild their entire Jeeps when they break. They can break and fix anything.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

See, that's the problem. Since this car is a one of a kind prototype, breaking any non-standard part of it, say the mold, will forever remove that part from play. Unless your BIL can also cast large pieces of Volvo bodywork.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

*thinks*

Volvos suck anyway. *hugs her Jellybean Nondescriptmobile Nissan*