brains

May. 20th, 2004 10:46 pm
[personal profile] napoleonherself
Amazon: The Zombie Invasion Weapons Checklist

Ten bucks says the katana she loves so much is in fact a cheap piece of display-level crap that would break the first time she actually tried to use it against a zombie. And hello... if the chainmail helmet is made by "Costume Expo," it probably won't actually stand up against a zombie invasion either...

Date: 2004-05-21 01:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohamsie.livejournal.com
Yowza, a woman after my heart. Possibly literally.

And I suppose that since zombies are pretty much just decaying flesh, that their gums would also be decaying and their teeth rotting off. This leads me to believe that even if the chainmail helmet is somewhat cheap, that it would still have the zombies biting off more than they can chew (ho ho ho!)

Date: 2004-05-21 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com
Ahh, but evidence from the better breed of zombie movie definately suggests otherwise, and further, that the decomposition of the human zombie (Homo mors) is constrained to allow for the successful propagation of the undead species, or perhaps subspecies, of man (or perhaps the parasite or causal agent of zombification, using the once-human host as a vector of sorts).

In short, I don't forsee a bunch of zombies needing dentures.

Date: 2004-05-21 08:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohamsie.livejournal.com
I do not know how you would be able to tell. All they ever chew on is nice soft flesh. And pretty much every zombie movie I've ever seen, they were all snaggle-toothed fellas, except for the ones who had just been "converted". If you can ever show me a zombie with a dazzling smile of pearly whites, then perhaps I will concede to you.

Date: 2004-05-21 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com
Well, first of all, unless the zombie came from a human with recently, and professionally, cleaned teeth they would never be pearly white.

Secondly, just look at the manner in which their teeth cause wounds! Huge chunks of flesh ripped off, people torn asunder. And have you ever in a zombie movie seen a tooth left behind in the bite wound of an unfortunate victim, or torn out and discarded, ala sharks?

I think the evidence already speaks for itself.

Date: 2004-05-22 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darnn.livejournal.com
I still don't get behind this 'zombies as a species' thing, but I can't be bothered to do all the necessary research to have a proper point right now.

Rather, I'd like to point your attention to the fact that that person, there, has a saw on the list. A plain saw. 'For really close encounters.' I'd just like to see them start slowly sawing a zombie when it's inches from their face.

Date: 2004-05-22 11:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] napoleonherself.livejournal.com
Yeah, we were talking about that when I showed him the list. A wobbly saw is going to be reeeeeeeeeaally good for killing a zombie which is TRYING TO EAT YOU...

Date: 2004-05-22 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohamsie.livejournal.com
I bet she would strap it to the front of the bumper on her car to mow zombies down.

Date: 2004-05-23 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] napoleonherself.livejournal.com
Heh heh heh. I'd like to see that...

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