Fun with research

[napoleonherself]

So for English class I'm working on this group project thing where we're looking at student perception of campus safety and what the campus safety folks can do to better achieve the goals they claim to have in mind. I took on the job of writing up a survey which we basically all mailed to a bunch of students asking them to fill it out if they liked and not kill us if they didn't. And just now I slapped all the results thus far into Excel, and sorted them a few ways to get a feel for the trends I'll be needing to talk about in the report thing.

I'm rather fascinated by the one guy who selected options on the webpage form version of the survey indicating that he is not at all concerned about safety on campus, while also feeling that the campus is not at all safe.

Especially fun is where I included a field asking for any ideas people might have on upping safety that weren't addressed by the radio button questions. My favorite responses there:

• "Inform girls not to go to strange boys houses!!!"
• "make it a wet campus"
• "The campus is safe enough as it is. But, i suppose they could lower the speed limit on the streets to 5mph, hand out mandatory construction helmets, and cover all sharp edges with Nerf foam."

Needless to say, that last one came from a gentleman rather than a lady. You can tell he has ever so much respect for women and their silly flighty "concerned about safety" ways.

Also, mecha and I hung out with nidoking on Saturday, and at least some amount of fun was had by all. The reason I did not mention this before is Saturday evening I was tired and Sunday I had to take care of mecha because he was ubersick. Messr. nidoking, please to not be poisoning my roommate, as he is the only one I have. Thanks.

I am in love with the video for this song. Even though it is sad.

Comments

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

EXCEL: Ow! Slapping is prohibited in this zone! All who slap Excel, forward scout of Il Palazzo's mighty army, will be summarily executed as soon as the new regime takes command!

Are you actually blaming me for this ubersickness? Am I some kind of mutated evil pathogen? I would blame the eggnog myself. Add "NO EGGNOG" to your list of safe things to do on campus.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

Defaming the egg nog is prohibited in this zone! All who defame the egg nog, forward dessert of Ill Palazzo's mighty army, will be summarily executed as soon as the new regime takes command!

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

/me throws up a lungful of blood into the eggnog and dies

I guess that means Elgala's in charge from now on.

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

I was wondering if anyone would make that awful, awful pun. :P

Also, yes, you are some kind of mutated evil pathogen. I have decreed it; it is now so.

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

If it's Excel, it HAS to be horrible puns! That's what the show's about!

/me shoots the mutated pathogen with a non-red laser, then throws the hot laser off the bridge

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

Dude! What are you doing with equipment that's past your clearance?! We all saw it! Mecha-R-TOES-2, back me up on this one! He is plainly a TRAITOR!

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

Most definitely, he is a commie-mutant-traitor and must be punished accordingly. Friend Computer, please give us authorization to shoot him many times about the face and head, in order to cleanse him of his socialist/mutagenic leanings.

What's that, Friend Computer? We should already be doing so? Oh, thank you, greatest of all mankind's creations.

*ZERT*

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't do that if I were you. I'm sticking my finger down the barrel.

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

Alas... despite what traitors such as yourself think... the will of Friend Computer must be done.

*DOUBLEZERT*

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

The will of Friend Computer cannot be executed until Friend Computer dies. Are you planning to bring this about?

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

Psst... um, you're already dead.

Also, that is not what I meant and you know it. Quit trying to twist my words around to serve your traitorous purposes.

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

You said I was shot with a ZERT. Nothing that goes ZERT could possibly kill me. I am immune to things that make a ZERT sound when they fire.

I haven't been TRYING to twist words around. I think I've been very successful. And I hardly see how it qualifies as "my traitorous behavior" when you're the one saying all the treacherous stuff.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

But we were given this ZERT gun by R&D and ordered to field-test it in our latest Troubleshooter mission. Are you claiming that the auspicious department of Research and Development would give us a weapon for final field testing and have it be completely ineffective?

Wait a second... of course... you're saying you're immune to the gun, not that it does not work. YOU HAVE A MUTANT POWER THAT MAKES YOU IMMUNE TO ZERT GUNS!

Quickly! Bash him about the face and head!

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

If Friend Computer asks, I will deliver! Hail Friend Computer!

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

/me grabs the ZERT gun as you get close and brandishes it threateningly

[napoleonherself.livejournal.com]

OOC, isn't referring to Friend Computer as one of "mankind's creations" a good way to get it snippy at you? Like "BAH I AM FAR GREATER THAN ANYTHING ANY HUMAN COULD EVER DO" only more computery. And then you'd die.

Having not read more than like three pages of the sourcebook, I am not sure, but it seems logical.