Your child is not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

[napoleonherself]

The following is my comment to this post, only expanded a bit to become a post in its own right, kind of.



I am totally behind the curve on this one, but YES.

wing_zero_ew and I see way too many parents these days who seem to think that it's not only their right, but their DUTY to pop out as many kids as they physically can -- whether or not they actually have the time or energy to give those kids the attention they need; whether or not the money is available to properly support them. And, naturally, once they've done the world the huge favor of having those kids -- why, they've got no obligations left, have they? They don't need to teach their children how to behave. Let the schools do that. Let the neighbors. And if the schools and neighbors and society won't do the hard work, it's certainly not the parents' fault when their kid turns out to be a thug. They already did THEIR part, right?

I also get tired of my roommate's mom telling me that I will never be a complete person until I have children. I'd like to think that my status as a PERSON is defined by, um, ME. Not by the presence or absence of small screaming things that share some of my DNA.

There should be a test you have to pass to be ALLOWED to procreate, with questions such as the following:

If you take your small child to the grocery store at 10 at night, and he throws a tantrum, is it
A) His fault, so yell at him and snap at him and threaten to leave him in the store if he doesn't stop.
B) The media's fault, because of all those awful awful video games that it's a damn crime for them to make, that you buy for him because you can't be bothered to read the cover and see that it's marked M for Mature and therefore wholly inappropriate for your child.
B) YOUR FUCKING FAULT FOR EXPECTING A SMALL CHILD TO BE AWAKE AND NOT CRANKY AT 10 AT NIGHT YOU IDIOT

Or:

R-rated movies are:
A) Totally acceptable for little Timmy. Sure, he'll get scared by the spooky bits or the loud noises, and start crying, but still, nobody should dare suggest that you and Timmy leave the theater.
B) Okay for little Timmy as long as you are there to loudly reassure him throughout the entire movie that everything is fine.
C) NOT OKAY FOR A SMALL CHILD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING

And of course:

Teaching your child how to act in society is the responsibility of:
A) The schools! Even though you hate paying more than a pittance in taxes to provide the salaries of the people who you expect to raise your child for you, and the tools they need to do the job.
B) The child himself! He's too young to understand now. He'll get older and figure out on his own that screaming "I WANNA GO BATHOOM MOMMY I NEED GO BATHOOM AGAIN MOMMY PLEASE MOMMY MOMMY" in a crowded restaurant is not appropriate. You don't need to react in any way to this.
C) YOU. Because it is YOUR CHILD. IDIOT.

If you can get these questions right, you get to spawn. Otherwise, you get spayed or neutered.

For more thoughts on this topic, see the comment that mecha will no doubt be making when he sees this post!

Comments

[steaksammich.livejournal.com]

No! Well...ok, maybe one. But the testing would make sure that the idiots don't reproduce. The populations of Georgia and Kentucky would probably disapear after a couple of generations.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

I'll never understand baseball. Sports are supposed to be ritualized violence, but there's no violence to speak of in baseball. It doesn't train any practical or semi-practical combat skills either.


That just doesn't make sense to me.

[steaksammich.livejournal.com]

But sports aren't supposed to be ritualized violence. They're games. Fun. Compition. It's like Monopoly. Only with a bat.

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

Oh sure they are. I mean, come on. Fun and competition don't require armor (aka padding/safety equipment) or weapons (aka sticks, bats, etc). Look at the terminology and strategy applied to sports: zones, points, guards, offense, defense, captains, forwards, checks, lines, etc, etc, etc. Sports are designed with warfare in mind. Squad level, organizational strategic combat simulation.

In the good old days they were a lot cooler, of course. Jousting, that mayan game where the losers were beheaded, gladiatorial contests, etc. We still have fencing and the martial arts, naturally, but everything's so pansied down.

Even some of the wussiest sports have their origins in war! Polo is obviously a calvalry training exercise, and lacrosse was used as wargaming by some of the Native American tribes.

So, yeah. Baseball. What's up with that?