Your child is not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

[napoleonherself]

The following is my comment to this post, only expanded a bit to become a post in its own right, kind of.



I am totally behind the curve on this one, but YES.

wing_zero_ew and I see way too many parents these days who seem to think that it's not only their right, but their DUTY to pop out as many kids as they physically can -- whether or not they actually have the time or energy to give those kids the attention they need; whether or not the money is available to properly support them. And, naturally, once they've done the world the huge favor of having those kids -- why, they've got no obligations left, have they? They don't need to teach their children how to behave. Let the schools do that. Let the neighbors. And if the schools and neighbors and society won't do the hard work, it's certainly not the parents' fault when their kid turns out to be a thug. They already did THEIR part, right?

I also get tired of my roommate's mom telling me that I will never be a complete person until I have children. I'd like to think that my status as a PERSON is defined by, um, ME. Not by the presence or absence of small screaming things that share some of my DNA.

There should be a test you have to pass to be ALLOWED to procreate, with questions such as the following:

If you take your small child to the grocery store at 10 at night, and he throws a tantrum, is it
A) His fault, so yell at him and snap at him and threaten to leave him in the store if he doesn't stop.
B) The media's fault, because of all those awful awful video games that it's a damn crime for them to make, that you buy for him because you can't be bothered to read the cover and see that it's marked M for Mature and therefore wholly inappropriate for your child.
B) YOUR FUCKING FAULT FOR EXPECTING A SMALL CHILD TO BE AWAKE AND NOT CRANKY AT 10 AT NIGHT YOU IDIOT

Or:

R-rated movies are:
A) Totally acceptable for little Timmy. Sure, he'll get scared by the spooky bits or the loud noises, and start crying, but still, nobody should dare suggest that you and Timmy leave the theater.
B) Okay for little Timmy as long as you are there to loudly reassure him throughout the entire movie that everything is fine.
C) NOT OKAY FOR A SMALL CHILD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING

And of course:

Teaching your child how to act in society is the responsibility of:
A) The schools! Even though you hate paying more than a pittance in taxes to provide the salaries of the people who you expect to raise your child for you, and the tools they need to do the job.
B) The child himself! He's too young to understand now. He'll get older and figure out on his own that screaming "I WANNA GO BATHOOM MOMMY I NEED GO BATHOOM AGAIN MOMMY PLEASE MOMMY MOMMY" in a crowded restaurant is not appropriate. You don't need to react in any way to this.
C) YOU. Because it is YOUR CHILD. IDIOT.

If you can get these questions right, you get to spawn. Otherwise, you get spayed or neutered.

For more thoughts on this topic, see the comment that mecha will no doubt be making when he sees this post!

Comments

[wing-zero-ew.livejournal.com]

I AM ON FIRE

THIS IS MY COMMENT

[steaksammich.livejournal.com]

When I rule the world the testing to be a parent will be incredibly strict.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

I've run across several brain-dead idiots who, when I tell them NO I DO NOT WANT BRATCHI'DREN OF MY OWN, think that spouting that tired old "well, when they're yours you'll feel different" will automatically change not only my mind, but my biology. I enjoy watching their faces fall off when I tell them, no, the reason I don't want bratchi'dren is I will catch The Dead if I birth them.

What pisses me off is that it has to get to that level before people leave me the fuck alone about this. I don't want kids. Does the reason why really concern you, random person on the street/acquaintance/fiance's frat brother? No. So stop bugging me.

Haha. :(

[chiaaysa.livejournal.com]

I got raised up on movies like 'Killer Klowns from Outer Space' and the 'Alien' movies, and.. well.. just about any other sci-fi. Also, I watched a lot of weed-humor movies whose jokes I only just began to understand a few years ago.

I have fond memories of my grandmother putting CRITTERS on, when I was a tot, and we watched it together - with her laughing about the toothy little fuzzballs and their eating people.

..and I turned out just fine! No clown phobia or anything. ..yet.

[temaranight.livejournal.com]

I love reading things about childfree people, because even as a parent I can see where alot of them are coming from. For alot of people, it seems like when they have a kid..all the common sense they might have had prior to the event suddenly vanishes. I was told once I was too strict a parent when I'd get onto my son about something. I promptly told said person that at least I'd taught my son well enough so that he didn't lay in the middle of the street/store isle/carnival midway and throw a fit anytime he didn't get his way like theirs did on a daily basis >:(