zzzzzz

[Edit: that used to be an Onion infograph on Enterprise, but said infograph has by now been pulled from the sever. Ah well.]

Woo! BASEBALL CAPS!

The baseball caps amuse me quite a bit, actually. As did the bit where one crew member accused another of watching too many horror movies.

I did finish that assignment last night. Not totally awake now, so I'll wait to post it till after class.

My horoscope according to the Onion: "Your acquisition of a state-of-the-art supercomputer will mark your entry into the elite, top rank of the world's solitaire players."

*discovers quite by accident that hitting control-B will insert html automagically around what she's typing*

Dude. I did not know that.

then i ate Chicago

I just saw the coolest vehicle ever on the way home from skull.

A limo Hummer.

I WANT one.

There was also a limo SUV, but that wasn't nearly so cool as the Hummer.

I realized during the ride home that the disclaimer-type thingy at the bottom of my fanart page has been horribly misleading ever since I uploaded it, like, a year ago. No wonder that one guy accused me of trying to steal his intellectual property. Well, it's fixed now, at any rate. Sheesh, I can be a moron sometimes.

And now for the homework.

We were given the following situation: two individuals in front of a store of our choosing witness a third having a heart attack. The title we had to give the piece was "Life and Death". This particular assignment was to write "bad" drama. To do this, we were to use any or all of the following techniques:

• Stereotyping of characters. They're not real people, they don't have hopes and dreams, they're not anything the audience can relate to. They're just there to be mocked by the author.
  
• Bad exposition, i.e. what nitpickers know as cabbageheadisms. Going on and on about prior events or knowledge when the other characters should already know, just so the audience can be made aware.
  
• Excessive swearing, and swearing without any artistic purpose, but merely to shock or attempt to sound "like real life".
  
• What the book calls "locker room raillery", or what the instructor calls "Beavis and Butthead flippancy". The trading of one-liners without any real substance to the conversation. Book cites Hawkeye from M*A*S*H as an example of flippancy that works well. For this it is blessed.
  
• Lack of contractions. Especially weird when you put it up against the profanity; one raises the diction level, the other lowers it. Hard to write, bizarre to read.
  

I've made at least a passing attempt at all of these. In this particular assignment, I focussed on the profanity, simply because it's not something I usually do and I wanted to force myself into an unfamiliar voice for the assignment. Means if you were to read this piece and not know much else about me, you'd likely think that I'm a monstrous pottymouth. In fact, I am not. I don't swear. I sometimes skate around the edge of it when I'm particularly annoyed, but "damn" and "crap" is about as bad as I tend to get. It's just how I am. I dunno why.

By clicking on the following link, you acknowledge that you're about to read a LOT of bad words. You also have to promise to try not to suddenly be shocked and appalled and start hating me as a result of reading it. Thankee.

( Oh, quit stalling and give me the darn link. )

Warning!

Okay, I know there's a lot of terrorist-related hoaxes going around, but this one is true, I swear. I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from her hairdresser who heard it from his cousin who heard it from her neighbor who heard it from her daughter who heard it from her former roommate, so it must be true!

You see, apparently my friend's friend's hairdresser's cousin's neighbor's daughter's former roommate was dating a guy from Afghanistan right up to the week before the attacks. He disappeared, she got a letter from him telling her to not get on an airplane on September 11, not to go to any malls on Halloween, plus, on top of this, he pleaded with her not to go to her job or her classes at any time during the month of November.

In light of the 9/11 attacks, she immediately of course turned the letter over to the local cops, who then passed it on to the Effa Bee Eye. Considering the fact that one of my friend's friend's hairdresser's cousin's neighbor's daughter's former roommate's ex-boyfriend's warnings has come true, I'd suggest we treat the others with all due gravity, especially that last one. Therefore, we should all stay home and chill for the entire month of November.

It's for our own good.

Disclaimer: yes, this is a joke. If you even have to ask then something is very very wrong with you.

(no subject)

You know you're tired when you can't spell your own username.

n-a-p-o-l-o... whoops...